Spitting on Hans' tosti

Spitting on Hans' tosti

About the tosti's

This blog keeps you informed about all spitting activities.

It’s about sharing experiences

Tosti'sPosted by Karin Bosman Feb 01, 2016 16:02

Because of the extreme humiliation, shame and fear most experiences with (sexual) workplace harassment are very difficult to share with HR managers, counsellors, superiors, colleagues, family or friends. And also because of this degrading intimidations it’s very hard to speak up about this unwelcome and unlawful harassment. These are the reasons why less than 1% of the complaints on this matter are false. But sadly also the reasons why many offenders escape their punishment and gain more power and make more victims.

Fragment from Spitting on Hans’ tosti

When ‘Sir’ enters the office, he walks straight up to my desk and stands about a fourth of an inch beside me while I sit down on my chair that makes him feel grand. ‘Sir’ gazes at my mouth, and then he looks at his fly and tries to establish eye contact. ‘Sir’ doesn’t care how hurtful he is being or how uncomfortable I feel. His actions make me sick. ‘Sir’ is standing so close to me that I can feel his body heat. I freeze. The whole spectacle last a minute tops, but for me it feels like hours have passed. I sit there, frozen. I can’t move and I dare not the breath. It seems I can no longer move. It satisfies ‘Sir’ to make me feel this small and thus himself so mighty.

‘Sir’ sends me a message from the restroom that he doesn’t like anal sex but he’s willing to make an exception for me. He asks for my sexual preferences and if I have any experience in anal sex… he would gladly stretch me to get me ready for it. Without ‘Sir’ actually touching me, I feel raped by his words.

So ‘Sir’ wants to tongue-tie me, does he? All these messages from ‘Sir’ don’t mean anything, do they? Like his photo from the beach and de message saying how much he longs for me. The witnesses are all lying, aren’t they? The money, the settlement for my secrecy, equals a blatant admission of guilt to me.

It’s very important that victims are told that they are not alone, that they are believed and that we share the importance to speak-up to decoupling the offenders from their power to effect other people and workplaces. Besides sharing what is happing during the harassment, the activities of the harasser and the process of the complaint procedure are equally important. This can empower other persons who are in the same position to break with the vicious circle of (sexual) workplace harassment

Fragment from Spitting on Hans’ tosti

“I still regret to this day that I did not speak up or took any action. During my employment in the office, not a single employee has been able to say goodbye to the company, the colleagues and management in a normal and professional manner. People have always been harassed, and in her case, the harassment was of a sexual nature. I’m convinced that I wasn’t the only one who noticed this”.

When bystanders react on workplace harassment by reporting the incidents to the management, in more than 42% of the cases the harassment will stop.

Next to believing, awareness and education are strong weapons against (sexual) workplace harassment. Ready for more experiences and the crucial tools on how to handle workplace harassment, contact Karin via www.aboutworkplaceharassment.com

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